Sallyings…
a column of
personal musings by Sally Van Vleck
Self-HealingBack pain is a curse that plagues many people in our culture. I, too, am a sufferer occasionally. Because I'm a yoga teacher people are surprised when I say my back is bothering me. "You?" they exclaim. "Why, I thought yoga was GOOD for the back!" Well, yes it is. But that doesn't mean that I'll never have a backache. Instead of a flare-up once every few years, I'd probably have a chronic back-ache if I didn't practice yoga. Still, it's humbling to be hobbling around while extolling the benefits of yoga.
Last summer and fall I was experiencing such a flare-up, so was making my usual trips to the chiropractor and had reverted to a gentle, restorative yoga practice. While I got temporary relief from the chiropractor, the pain kept returning. I was in the co-op one day and decided to take advantage of a free Network Chiropractic evaluation offered in the store by a local chiropractor. After a quick evaluation, he looked in my eyes and gently told me that he thought the cause of my back pain was emotional. Well! Of course I know all about the mind/body connection. Many articles and whole books have been written about the emotional causes of chronic back pain. But extreme back pain just feels so physical, it's difficult in the moment to believe that our emotions could be the cause. I thanked him and hobbled off to my grandson's bowling birthday party. Fortunately, that evening I was on my own, as there was a men's retreat going on at the Inn (where I live) and I had been offered the use of a friend's house out in the country as she was out of town.
Armed with my boxes of herbal tea, a cold pack, my journal, and a good book, I settled in on the couch in front of a fire. It was so quiet. I began to relax and try to get in touch with this pain. What was it trying to tell me? I kept my focus on the pain, alternating between the couch and my yoga mat. I moved in whatever ways made the pain lessen just a little bit. Every few hours I applied the cold pack. My favorite Saturday night radio show was playing, so I let the music soothe and comfort me. I wrote in my journal. The pain was in my lower back on the right. After awhile, I felt the pain begin to move over to the left. This was odd, as it was always on the right. I considered that to be progress. More focusing. More being with the pain. The chiropractor had said that the sheath that surrounds my spine was twisted at the top and bottom due to stress (I don't know how he knew) so I visualized this sheath gently untwisting. Deep breathing. More chamomile tea. Then the pain moved to the base of my spine, right to my tailbone. This was a very strange sensation as I've never had any pain at that exact spot, at least not since I fell on my butt ice skating when I was a kid. I did more yoga.
Finally, I went to bed--a soft down featherbed. I slept a full eight hours, a rarity for me. When I woke up the pain was gone. As I moved around packing up my things and tidying up the house, I half expected it to return. I moved gingerly, afraid to trigger that familiar feeling. It was really gone, and hasn't returned.
Now, I am faced with a more complex health problem. After years of bowel trouble, I have been diagnosed with Crohn's Disease (an autoimmune disease of the intestinal tract). My doctor is recommending some serious prescription drugs which suppress the immune system, are very expensive, and have potentially serious side effects. If I don't take them he says I'll certainly need surgery in the next 10-15 years.
Since I want to avoid both drugs and surgery, I am turning to alternative approaches (now being referred to as CAM--complementary and alternative medicine), including herbs, acupuncture, massage and my mainstays--yoga and meditation. I am making a conscious effort to reduce the stress in my life.
There is a wealth of information on the Internet about Crohn's Disease, and its twin sister, ulcerative colitis. The intestinal tract is responsible for taking our food and transforming it into nutrients that are absorbed and used by our bodies, and eliminating waste. But our guts are connected to, and affected by our emotions; hence, phrases like "gut instinct" and feeling something on a "gut level". For some of us, this connection becomes damaging to the intestines. So, I am working on releasing and re-routing those emotions instead of letting them fester in my guts. And, my research has confirmed what I had suspected; there's a direct connection between my intestines and my lower back pain.
Sometimes it takes a serious illness to attract our attention to really listen to our bodies. I don't know if I can heal myself of Crohn's Disease, but I know that I will learn a great deal about myself along the way.